How to Get Out of a Traffic Ticket

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Getting out of a Speeding TicketOfficer: May I see your driver’s license?
Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who’s car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

We're cracking up!Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet the lying s.o.b. Cop told you I was speeding, too!

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Posted by:  BBParks

Funny Break Up Lines

Weirdest Break-up Lines


The statement states it all……….do i need to be more detailed?

1. My astrologer said if i break up with u, then u will find a better person than me….so i m doing this for u!!!

2. My dog likes u more than me…so i think v should break up..

3. I guess ma doggy is falling for u & i don’t want him to be hurt so u enjoy with him……..

4. Not weird but certainly lame- ” i gotta concentrate on my studies now!!”

5. You seem to endanger my bachelorhood so now we need to break up…

6. ….and i thought u were rich !

7. I guess ma preferences r changing so v better break off!

8. I cant stop thinking bout ma ex its beta v breakup!

9. My neighbors Doggy saw us together & i think he might spit it out in front of the whole world so its beta v break off!

10. Man what have u done to your hair the other day mah mom was asking who was that alien with you, so dude i am calling it off !!

More funny Stuff Here

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